5 Things I Do as a Busy Mum in My 40s to Stay Sane

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a mum in my 40s, it’s that “balance” is less about having everything perfectly organised and more about finding tiny moments of steadiness in the beautiful chaos. Between raising kids, running a household, and carving out space for my own passions, life can get messy fast — so I’ve learned to protect my sanity with a few simple habits.

Here are the five things that help me stay grounded, energised, and (mostly) calm.

1. I prioritise morning rituals over morning productivity

Gone are the days when I’d bolt out of bed and dive straight into emails or chores. Now, my mornings belong to me — even if it’s just 10 quiet minutes.

Some days it’s a gentle stretch, sometimes it’s sitting with a cup of tea before anyone else wakes up, or a quick journal entry to set my intentions. Starting my day slowly makes everything that follows feel less frantic.

2. I move my body in ways that feel good — not punishing

In my 40s, I’ve ditched the “no pain no gain” mindset. Movement is now about nourishment, stress relief, and longevity.

For me, that means yoga most days, a long walk when the weather is kind, or dancing around the kitchen with my child. When movement becomes joyful instead of obligatory, it stops feeling like another task and becomes therapy.

3. I say “no” more often than I used to

There’s something magical about reaching the age where you stop apologising for protecting your time and energy.

If something drains me, overstretches me, or simply doesn’t align with my priorities, I say no — kindly but firmly. This one practice has opened up more space in my life than anything else. My 40s have taught me: I can’t do everything, but I can absolutely do what matters.

4. I lean into community — but only the nourishing kind

I don’t have time for friendships that feel like emotional heavy lifting. What I need (and value deeply) are the women who cheer each other on, laugh loudly, show up honestly, and don’t mind a messy house or messy hair.

A quick voice note from a friend, a chat at school pick-up, or the occasional mum’s night out can fill me up for weeks. Supportive community is sanity.

5. I give myself permission to rest without guilt

This one has taken years to learn. Rest isn’t lazy. Rest is how I stay creative, calm, patient, and human.

Some days rest is an early night. Some days it’s letting the laundry wait. Some days it’s a quiet half-hour with a book while my child plays. When I stopped trying to earn rest and simply allowed it, everything in my life — including motherhood — got lighter.

Final thoughts

Being a mum in my 40s is equal parts joyful, exhausting, hilarious, and heart-expanding. But I’ve learned that staying sane doesn’t happen by accident — it’s a series of small, intentional choices that honour my wellbeing.

And when I look after myself, I show up as a better mum, partner, friend, and human. And that’s worth every boundary, every early bedtime, and every imperfect-but-joyful moment.